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April 2007 |
Futility's Chase |
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Welcome to the Conscious Communication Chronicle, sharing how Conscious Communication results in success, and how you can achieve yours. Enjoy!
Kind Ambition:
Kind Ambition
is
about you having
the tools to slide over to the
driver’s seat of your
own life.
Circumstances will always be
changing, seemingly thwarting
our plans, but we don’t have to be
thrown around by them. You can
be in
charge of your choices and actions more than you might imagine - yet.
Kind Ambition
is written for you,
as a practical guide you can
use
right now. It is a
collection of
insights and actions designed to
help
you move forward and get
more out
of your life at home and
at work.
The chapters hold to a
formula of
first giving you a new
way to look at
things, then offering
you tangible
Action Steps to try
them out, and
finally some things to notice when you do.
Kind words for
“Kind Ambition”
"If you are interested in success, whether it is in running a large
organization, a small business, or leading a satisfying life, you will
find a right blend of rules, wisdom and wit in a digestible fashion that
will serve to accomplish your objectives. The notion that kindness can
be blended with ambition and made to work and serve the "bottom line" is
enlightening, uplifting and satisfying."
-Steven Kiefel – CEO, Red Pill Media
“An easy to use guide for anyone who wants to
achieve real
-Romanus Wolter -
Author: Kick Start Your Dream Business
"
We all face obstacles in our lives and careers. Some of these come from within, subverting our conscious intentions. The
good news is: they can be overcome. The techniques and processes found in this book will help you on your way."
-Margaret Heffernan – Author: The Naked Truth: A Working Woman's
Manifesto on Business and What Really Matters
Syndicated Columnist: Fast Company Magazine
“A
scientifically-based, spiritually-awake, (and smart and funny) guide to
making the most of your life. Ian Blei provides the know-how, the
inspiration, the structure and all the tools you need in this
straightforward and
inspirational book.”
-Lisa Betts-LaCroix, Past
President of SF Coaches
"
Ian Blei shares his deep insights in simple and straightforward
ways. His work continues to inspire me whenever I feel I'm getting stuck in some area of my life."
-Roy King, III, Director Pacific Development Partners
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Conscious Communication: bringing communication up from "auto-pilot" and reactive, to thoughtful, responsive, and above all, intentional.
Tuesday, May 22nd, 2007
From Compulsion to Choice;
-
getting off the 'hamster wheel.'
*************
Wednesday, May 30th,
2007
"Intro to the Enneagram - a New Approach"
From Compulsion to Choice;
-
getting off the 'hamster wheel.'
7:00pm-8:30pm
*************
Long ago I wrote an ambitious
progressive rock anthem called the "Last Illuminations: Suite."
Each movement was a tone poem addressing different facets of the same
issue: what are you chasing? Why? What would be different if you had it?
And what would be next?
The names of the movements are a
Cliff’s Notes version of its message: Disjointed Values,
Assessment, Reflection, Square One, leading up to the
climactic Futility’s Chase, ending in the inevitable The
Spoils (a re-iteration of Disjointed Values and Square One).
How seriously we take ourselves in
High School! And how interesting to discover that my life’s work has me
asking clients the same questions today.
Finding the motivation under
our motivation is at once a joyful “aha!” and disturbing “oh, man!” The
great thing about that, is it’s a phenomenal cross-road or decision
point where we can make a significant, life-altering shift. Just by
raising our consciousness around the deepest of our motivations, we can
see how irrelevant they are to our lives right now, in-the-moment.
So much of what drives our behavior is
echoes and ghosts of our past that really don’t apply anymore. We all
develop survival strategies when we're young, and for some reason forget
to question them when we grow up. We look back on our younger selves
saying, “what was I thinking?!” about everything except our survival
strategies. Somehow, we wrote them into our programs, and they're really
like viruses.
A successful parasite not only doesn’t
kill its host, but convinces its host that it’s there for the host’s own
good, and needs to be defended. These are the guys we need to root out
of our hearts and minds. Yes, the survival strategies of our childhood
become virtual parasites to our adult dreams and goals.
Questioning "Reality"
By and large we are not supported when we ask questions. Everyone seems
to want answers, and those who provide them are supported and given
recognition (regardless of the efficacy or accuracy of those answers.)
Questioning things is often seen as some kind of dissention, rather than
what it is; looking more closely and striving to understand. This gets
defended against, and a questioning person becomes a problem
person. Not surprising that if we get whacked on the nose with a
newspaper enough times, we stop asking questions.
Unfortunately, this is the antithesis of growth and evolution, and just
plain sad. This is why we make assumptions and projections, and avoid
asking questions to clarify what’s really going on. It also follows that
once we start accepting this insulated version of our perception as
reality, we start missing a lot of what is real.
Inside Outside Your Side My Side
Applying an Integral approach, you’re always asking questions,
because you’re trying to establish how things interrelate from multiple
perspectives.
Understanding that reality is an incredibly complex, multi-faceted
holographic composition, puts you in a delightfully exciting place of
constant discovery and amazement.
Having a placeholder answer filling up the space pales by comparison.
There’s no competition that you’re going to win by “being right” or
making yourself be right in your own mind. There’s only the brief
respite before needing to defend that assertion in the face of new
information. How many times have you felt like someone wouldn’t listen
to what you were saying, because their mind was made up and you weren’t
going to change it?!
What if you're doing that to yourself inside? Would you be willing to
listen to another voice inside of you, with another possible reality to
offer? Would you be willing to entertain that possibility?
External Illusions of
Internal Needs:
The Nine Mirages:
Talking with someone about this whole chasing after what we think we
need subject, I had an image of the mirages we see sometimes on the
highway. As we approach, the pool of water seems to disappear and
reappear further down the road. It looks real, but it isn’t reality. Why
and what we chase is very much like that mirage.
Ones try to fix what is already perfect.
Twos chase connection that never was lost.
Threes chase symbols of worth, when worth is inherent.
Fours mourn what’s missing, when it’s really inside.
Fives seek knowledge to become what they already are.
Sixes seek the safety that their faith would give them.
Sevens chase a plan, that is already in place.
Eights press their will to be where they are.
Nines seek the peace and love that resides within.
What all have in common is chasing external illusions of that which is
within; ironically ignoring the very thing we seek.
Exit Strategy
The only way to get off the “hamster wheel” is to recognize what we’re
doing (what are we really chasing) and re-examine our strategy. If we’re
putting 90% of our energy into something that isn’t really going to work
anyway, (Futility’s Chase) maybe we don’t need to be quite so
attached to it? How liberating would it be to dump that strategy, and
develop one that will bring a deeper, more sustainable sense of joy,
well-being, and connection.
This is the magic of going from unconscious compulsion to conscious
choice. This is also probably the first, most powerful lesson we can
learn from the Enneagram, even at its most basic level. When we know
what is driving us at our very core, (unconsciously) we can consciously
slide over to the driver’s seat, and go where we choose, with direction,
purpose, connection, and reality on our side.
Finding your way off of the "hamster wheel" is the aim of the
two new
seminars in May, focusing on the Enneagram and how it can illuminate
your path from compulsion to choice.
"Why
Communication
Goes Awry"
- Interview for Entrepreneur
Magazine Radio w/ Romanus Wolter
Podcast for Evolutionary Radio w/ Jason McClain
Podcast
"Coaching the Coach" for Personal Life Media
Kind
Ambition - 2nd Edition now available
Got Blog?
come visit the Blog. Rants and delvings for your entertainment.
Character Driven -
Ever want to create
characters that were so believable, that people forgot they were
characters? |
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